Saturday, August 26, 2017


I can be anything you want.

Friday, August 25, 2017

I DON'T want to let go.

Kings and Queens Acoustic Session - Marie Digby

Every day that passes by parts of me get erased, I feel helpless to stop it. I'm starting school again, The first time since I had to stop eight years ago. I can't believe it's been so long. I want to talk about the illness but every time I try it brings up terror. I don't yet know how to talk about it without paralyzing myself.. I want to tell how it happened. I want to explain the storm I experienced but I can't without triggering something inside. It is said that if you want to heal something you have to feel it, but what if something is so horrible that you don't want to face it. I think it maybe similar to what soldiers experience in war. You make your brain shut it out, you forget and move on. It's the only way. Life is complicated at the moment. Like a complicated math equation that you do not know how to solve. I'd be a liar if I said I don't want the things I had before this chaos. I still want the same things. Integrity, and all the things that used to define me, maybe I'm a fool for not letting go. It's all I know. It's what made me HAPPY. It made sense to be that person.

Thinking about it now, school represents a divide. Like there's the past and the future. It allows me to reflect. I don't even know what direction I'm heading in, all I know is I don't want to stay still anymore. There are so many words that have lost there meaning.

  1. 1.
    the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
    "he is known to be a man of integrity"
    synonyms:honestyprobityrectitudehonor, good character, principle(s), ethics, morals, righteousnessmoralityvirtuedecency,
     fairness, scrupulousness, sinceritytruthfulnesstrustworthiness

  1. courageous behavior or character.
    synonyms:couragevalor, intrepidity, nervedaringfearlessnessaudacityboldness,
    dauntlessness, stoutheartedness, heroism

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

'Hope' is the thing with feathers—
That perches in the soul—
And sings the tune without the words—
And never stops—at all—

And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard—
And sore must be the storm—
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm—

I've heard it in the chillest land—
And on the strangest Sea—
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb—of Me.

by: Emily Dickinson

Saturday, August 12, 2017

fix my broken heart
It's been so long that it's been like this. Like a distant dream, when will I find him.
When will I find this? It's become almost like a fantasy. My finger tips reach out to grab it but it's gone. I will create you like a painter creates a painting. Like a beautiful symphony.

We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence is not an act, but a habit.

[Dubstep] The Blizzard & Yuri Kane - Everything About You ft. Relyk (Sau...

                             @ Starbucks anxiously awaiting response from uni.Apparently there will be a lot
                             Aristotle in my future.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

          My beautiful family I miss you. We are all one. I know you are by my side even in the darkest of times watching over me. You gave me a strong, yet gentle heart, to teach others that compassion exists. The fight is not over yet. I will let my heart be gentle, kind, and compassionate for those are my strongest qualities.I affirm my vow to see everyone on this earth as my brother and my sister. As above so below. You know you are not from earth when you abhor violence ,anger and cannot stand to be around those things. I know you would be proud of me, even though sometimes I feel as if I've failed you. It's weird, it's as if I am bored with everything on this earth. I've been getting tired of the way the world works. Is that a life unlived? I don't know, but I have a sense that I am wasting my time here. Yet I came here freely for the great transformation of earth, these uncertain times on earth.
So many people are involved. How will the face of the planet change in to coming years? To those who have wronged me I see you as a part of me and I feel your pain.  I am starting school in January, but I can't hide out doing nothing, and yet, and yet I am not as excited as I should be. Have I made a difference?? That's the question.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Mill Creek Ravine Yoga Mudra

Saturday, August 5, 2017

I can't tell who my favorite poet is, I think it's a tie between Edgar Allan Poe and Robert Frost.
“Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.” 
― Robert Frost
“A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.” 
― Robert Frost


by Pablo Neruda

By night, Love, tie your heart to mine, and the two
together in their sleep will defeat the darkness
like a double drum in the forest, pounding
against the thick wall of wet leaves.
Night travel: black flame of sleep
that snips the threads of the earth’s grapes,
punctual as a headlong train that would haul
shadows and cold rocks, endlessly.
Because of this, Love, tie me to a purer motion,
to the constancy that beats in your chest
with the wings of a swan underwater,
so that our sleep might answer all the sky’s
starry questions with a single key,
with a single door the shadows had closed.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

We are all one
from the stars and beyond

Faded Memories - Chill Music Mix

I was thinking about what I've created in my life. I'm sure that we create our own realities. If there is disharmony in my life I've somehow created it. I send love and healing to this paradigm. Fighting against something feels like duality. From what I remember of my other lives.There was always a higher frequency. A oneness with all that is. So therefore there is no "bad". We are all one. I vow to see everyone as my brother and sister. From the homeless, to those who live in abundance, to those spiritual and the police and those that are "bad" and have caused harm to others. We are all connected. As far as my knowledge goes until this is solidified in our minds we cannot move forward.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

                                      I will get back here one day.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

                             Life on earth is hard without you. Why was I sent here? Just to experience pain?
                            Surely it was to shine bright, but I guess it comes in waves, It always happens like
                             that. I'm doing really well then the floor gets pulled out from under me. I wish I
                             knew your name my kin. I experienced a "going home" when I was on Vancouver
                              Island I imagined myself in the bed where you brought me. Eventually I could feel
                              myself teleported there once again, but could only see glimpses of the room and
                              feel a bit of the energy. I did some reiki tonight and it brought out a lot of pain.
                              This is why I am writing to you because I feel alone, and I miss you dearly.
                                All of my beautiful creative energy has been spent these last few weeks.
                                I love you, you are always in my heart.